Aditi's Monologue

Just yesterday evening, I found out that the kid got an arrest warrant in Genshin Impact, and I did not know how to react. It is hilarious how she managed to get this in the half-hour playtime, but I am not very familiar with this particular game beyond the basic research I did before allowing the game twice a week. The kid then explained the lore to me, and while I now know what this arrest warrant means, like every other parent at various stages in life, it made me realize how many cultural, technological, and behavioral changes are happening at light speed, and that I need to document them on the blog. So, here we are.

I have been sharing some parts of my parenting journey on this blog – I mean, in the past, I have shared on and off parenting experiences here on this blog since I gave birth. And, parenting is an exciting journey; it teaches you more about yourself at times than about the human you’re parenting. And every stage of my daughter’s life has been a learning curve, a humbling journey, and a delight in equal parts, and a struggle in some ways. Because there is no personalized manual for parenting, no custom-made guide that tells you how to be the best parent to your child, one learns on the job. And with the first and only child, even more so.

And things change at every stage. Rules change at every stage, too. And you need to change as a parent as well.

I was told things get tough when your kid enters the teen years. I have read articles about how, as an overcompensating millennial, not to mess up when parenting a teen [I mean, I have seen Instagram Reels about it like everyone else], and all that leaves me slightly weary.

And I am here now. Gauri (my daughter) is a newly minted teen. She turned 13 in May, and let’s just say that while I am often bewildered that the husband and I are parenting a teen in India, the changes are subtle for now. I mean, the infant to toddler was a HUGE change – nothing was subtle about it because of the newly mastered walking stage, the non-stop exploring stage, and the language skills being mastered phase. Toddler to pre-school age was also a massive change, when the kid started to understand autonomy and forming opinions (and telling everyone about these opinions, unfiltered). Not subtle, no.

But this recent shift into the teenage years is subtle so far. Now, I know that she’s just hit 13 and there is a long way to go, but what I’m saying is that there is no mega change as of now. She’s still the same goofy kid who makes up songs about every situation, jokes around all the time, and wants several hugs during the day. But subtle changes are there, and I know that if I’m not attentive, I might miss out on them.

For the husband and me, parenting our 13-year-old daughter in Gurgaon is more like being a cultural anthropologist in a pop culture jungle, where the language is all-time-sassy acronyms, the ecosystem runs on Korean Snacks, and the national anthem is a collection of K-pop songs on Spotify this week – or Chappell Roan / Tate McRay / Charlie xcx albums.

But there is musical exploration happening, which is what I want to share today.

Last week, as the person in charge of putting the music on in the house as background for dinner, she put a song on that made me stop in my tracks. It wasn’t BlackPink or Tate McRay, who has been the unofficial background score of our home for months. It was… Arctic Monkeys.

Yes, my Arctic Monkeys. The band I looped endlessly during college and also later during my first job while driving around Delhi in my friend Sheetal’s Ford Figo. AND also last week in my office becauuuuuuuse it’s one of my comfort bands. Yes, she played one of my favourite songs, “Do I Wanna Know?’

The same kid who, just last month, was explaining the entire lore of some Genshin Impact character and showing me her elaborate Minecraft castle complete with animals ranging from cows to axolotls, was now vibing to “Do I Wanna Know?”, which is, in all fairness, my song.

I almost dropped my cold coffee in almond milk [yes, I am THAT lady now, don’t judge me]

And then yesterday morning, when schools and offices shut off/allowed work from home due to heavy rains in Gurgaon, she picked Eminem to play in the background as we had dosas for breakfast. Eminem is probably my top 3 favourite artists – just FYI.

Do you get it? Do you get it? This isn’t just about music. It’s about living with a person you absolutely love the heck out of, blending her sensibilities into yours. She is basically a one-person cultural mashup: K-pop dances, Minecraft architecture, Eminem lyrics shouted at full volume [only the age-appropriate versions, obviously], and yes, random requests for my “old” CDs because she wants to see what they look like [excuse me while I happy-cry in millennial].

The Indian Teenager Starter Pack (2025 Edition)

If you’re raising a teenager in India right now, here’s what you’re probably familiar with:

• Music Whiplash: One minute it’s BlackPink choreography, the next it’s Eminem’s Lose Yourself. [And somehow, they make both feel deeply personal.]
• Digital Double Lives: Homework tabs open on the laptop… right next to Minecraft, Spotify, and a mind-spinningly fast-moving Discord chat about school projects and Model United Nations [MUN] agendas between Russia and India on national sustainability policies. In between all of this, are also stories from the Vedas that she laps up wiht interest, Greek and Roman mythology discussions, and videos on how to make paper squishies.
• Confidence as a Superpower: My daughter once tried to link a Mughal Empire school project to a K-pop remix as background music for transitions and Minecraft-like graphics. When I asked how Jennie from BlackPink fits into Akbar’s reign, she smiled indulgently like one would to a toddler’s question and said, “I’m not changing the facts, I’m just enhancing the vibes.” Clearly, I need time to process this because while I immediately know that I am not against the idea, I know that this challenges my own conditioning of sticking to “how it is supposed to be”.
• Fashion Indifference: She doesn’t care what she wears beyond a point. She wants to wear shorts and a t-shirt, or basic t-shirt dresses, all the time. It’s a bonus if the t-shirts are F1 merch from her favourite teams or drivers. I am also not too much into keeping up with fashion trends, so I get it, but I also see her peers already getting particular about their outfit vibes [cottage core (?), K-pop inspired fits, etc], and I’m somewhat relieved we are not there yet. The only things my daughter cares about are sneakers, which I can get behind since we are the same shoe size now. So I got it easy, I suppose.

Parenting a Teen in India = Cultural CrossFit

Here’s the truth: our kids are growing up in a mashup world – almost like we millennials did, but we are familiar with this change only from our side, not from our parents’ side. Now, in my experience, K-pop sits next to Bollywood, Minecraft next to Mughal history, Eminem next to Karan Aujla, and F1 is where Cricket used to be for me. They’re fluent in memes, better at algorithms than trained ad agency folk, and have opinions strong enough to win panel discussions/debates. In fact, Gauri recently won an award in an MUN (Model United Nations) event with several schools, where she was a delegate of Ukraine. I mean, there is just so much happening, and I am impressed with her time management skills.

And as parents, we’re just trying to keep up, often failing but learning, sometimes laughing, occasionally tearing up when they play a song that takes us back to our own teenage years.

Why I’m Okay With It (Mostly)

Yes, parenting a teen can be exhausting in the later years for us. But for now it’s … oddly beautiful. I get to watch her stitch together her identity from a thousand different influences – Korean pop culture, British rock music, Indian examination system, Vedic stories of faith and goodwill, global memes, AI-led productivity, Video Game enhanced reflexes – and somehow, she’s making it her own.

Someday, she might understand why I think Ye Mera Deewanapan Hai by Mukesh (or this version, actually) is one of the greatest songs of all time. Or maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll keep rolling her eyes at my playlists forever. Either way, we’ll keep finding our shared “vibe”, even if it’s just over cuddles and funny stories from her class and the chaos of parenting a teenager in India.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, my daughter just asked if I want to play Minecraft. I said yes, obviously because 1.) I am a gamer first, advertising professional/author later. 2.) She has built a gigantic villa in Minecraft with 2 pools, one pond, ocean on one side, numerous animals, and about 12 rooms, which I love and probably should manifest into the 3D, and 3.) Who needs obsidian when you’ve got some quality bonding?

PS: Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Medium, and Substack. Basically, just follow me everywhere, okay? Cool. Bye for now.