Aditi's Monologue

Very soon, our wedding was being planned and I was told that black is inauspicious for a bride. Such a buzz kill for me, because I had big plans of designing a black saree with some unique crystal work for my Sangeet. But mom and mom-in-law’s collective will prevailed, and I had to settle for pink. It only made me long for that black saree even more. I did try to bully my husband into giving up his black wedding suit too, but it didn’t work, hence making me more sullen. But that’s all water over the bridge now. Or under. Whatever, I’m still trying to get over it, okay? 

• Little Black Dress because duh, already have.  (Don’t fit into them anymore but that’s not
  the point)
• A Black Luxury car because, stereotypical. (Okay yes, I want it but it’s not my desire. There’s a difference, okay?)
• A black laptop/phone/tablet because – Meh.
• Black dog because all dogs are equally adorable! 
• Black hair because, have you seen my hair? It’s as black as it can get and I’m kind of bored with it. Never tried coloring or even highlighting it yet.
• Black Stilettos or Pumps because I already have like, 5.
• Black sunglasses because it’s just plain sad to “desire” something as mundane as a pair of sunglasses.
• You get the point, right?

1. A Black Book Cover for my next book. I also want the title to be Black something or the other; I’ll figure it out. I’ve imagined the cover as shiny deep black, with just the Title in grey (My name can be embossed in black itself).  I desire to write a story that is as powerful as the color black, as magical as the color Black. Fantasy is my favorite genre, and I desire, badly enough to dream about it at night, to write an epic Fantasy story set in a world that will evoke strong reactions in the human minds. I want readers to carry it with them long after they have finished reading it. I want the effects of my story to attract like a black magnet and stick to every reader, like black magic.  
2. A Black Wall in my house. This seems like a doable thing, except it’s not. We live the life of nomads, shifting from one station to another every two years, and most of the time, we just end up living with white walls strewn with our pictures. But this black wall I desire will be smooth as pearls and I want to put up my daughter’s picture on it, in a yellow frame. Just one picture on the entire wall. This means a lot to me. The black wall would stand for everything that our, my husband’s and mine, life is, and the framed picture would stand out as one single highlight, the brightest one, in our lives. Our daughter, our shining star and a daily reminder of the blessing that she is to the two of us. 
3. A Black Custom Designed Armani Three Piece Formal Suit for the husband, because a.) our love for black was instrumental in the beginning of our relationship, at the stage when you don’t know the real person and you try to gauge by what’s visible to the eye. Black made me trust him, and made him fall in “love at first sight” – his words, not mine! Heehee. And b.) Because he looks
   damn good in black and we’d never be able to afford a custom-made Armani in real life. Desire, oh desire! 
4. A quiet, dark night with no overwhelming city lights. An adventure in the wilderness, a trip to the deep forests or on top of a snow-peaked mountain where the only light is that of the stars twinkling above me. I desire to lie on my back, with no care in the world, staring at the stars and rekindling my love for magical constellations that used to be extremely attractive to me as a child. It is just a way to bring back and restore some childhood in my life.